Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Bigdei Balagan

The weather in Israel is very frustrating. I have made much about the ongoing lack of rain, and the implications the drought has on daily water usage. However, in a more light hearted assessment, I want to point out how selecting an outfit is incredibly difficult.

What do I mean? When I leave the apartment in the morning (7:00), the temperature could be in the low 50s (We'll use F). I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt, a fleece, and a light jacket, which keeps me plenty warm on my short walk to Pardes, plus it gives me something to wear during the hour or so when my sleeve is rolled up for t'fillin during shacharit. By lunch time (1:00) the temperature can reach the upper 70s and the same outfit can be worn with all of the appropriate zippers open provided that you walk in the shade. Walk in the sun however, and you're instantly too warm. After lunch (2:15), that combination is too hot for me regardless of the sun-shade situation. When classes conclude (5:00) the unzipped jackets can return, and then by the end of night learning (9:00 or later), they again need to be zipped up.

So as you can see, selecting the correct attire can be just as important as trying to save water.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas in Israel

I along with what I imagine must be many Americans, Jewish and non, have at some point contemplated what Christmas in Israel looks like. Having just experienced it, I can tell you that for the most part it looks like any other day. Since Shabbat and Christmas coincided this year, I can really only say that Shabbat was Shabbat without any Christmas influences.

I can count on one hand the number of Christmas trees that I saw this year, and both of them were in the Old City near Jaffa Gate. Really it shouldn't be surprising that that was the location given the fact that Jaffa Gate is bordered on one side by the Christian quarter and the Armenian quarter on the other. You might say that this indicates a lack of multi-culturalism. However, my response is as follows: You don't see Sukkot decorations being sold on the streets of the United States, a place where multi-cultural values are highly touted, but the differing cultures don't live anywhere near as close together as they do in Israel.

On a personal level, this was the first year not being in my living room with my family on Christmas morning, Shabbat or otherwise. It was quite difficult knowing that I was rather far away from something that I have enjoyed for many years.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Sports Divide

I am devout sports fan, it's probably fair to say that there is some sort of addiction. I knew it would be more difficult to follow my local teams, as well as the leagues at large whilst in Israel.

This evening as I was walking on Emek Refaim, the main street in the section of Jerusalem known as Moshava haGermanit (Germany Colony), every restaurant I passed was showing a soccer game, or football for those who are more civilized. On the contrary, last night (and other nights as well), I have struggled to find an effective method by which to watch and follow my local teams. Given their performance of both teams who are currently in season, I don't want to discuss either specifically.

Passing these establishments on Emek, did however, make me miss walking into a red-clad Verizon Center (home of the Washington Capitals) or FedEx Field (home of the Redskins) where I could be surrounded by others who care about those teams as much as I do. Instead, I'll settle for choppy video, radio broadcasts, and early morning readings of the Washington Post.

Monday, December 6, 2010

גשם ולא אש Rain and not Fire


Today was the first measurable rain of the season in Jerusalem. A damp cloudy chilly day has never looked so beautiful. It represents only a tiny amount of what would be necessary to alleviate the drought, but it's a wonderful start. I'm going to splash in puddles.

Also, the fires in the Carmel region have been contained or extinguished. All of Israel, myself included, is grateful for the international support that assisted in suppressing the raging fires.

Hebrew phrase of the day: Yored geshem! "Rain is falling!"

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Hannukah in Israel


On Friday afternoon, as I was preparing for Shabbat, I found myself in front of a pan of hot oil. No, I was not making latkes or sufganiyot. I was instead whipping up a batch of shnitzel for Shabbat lunch. With the cooking completed, and grease splatters on my shirt ( don't worry, it's the shirt reserved for cooking) I went next door to pick up something from a neighbor, fellow Pardes student, and chevruta. As I walked down the stairs, all I could smell was fried food. I thought the shmek of shnitzel must be especially strong. No, what I was actually smelling was the latkes, sufganiyot, and shnitzel of every other apartment in the building. I reached the bottom of the stairs, and began ascending the stairs of knisa bet (door #2) and I was greeted with the same glorious smell.

Last night, after Shabbat, I was walking through the neighborhood looking out for hannukiot in windows, on doorsteps, outside gates and the like. I have never heard so many renditions of maoz tzur in one twenty minute walk. So as day number five of Hannukah approaches here in Israel, I am looking forward to a walking tour of the Old City, the national hannukia lighting at the Kotel Ha'maravi, and another night of festive celebrations of this beautiful holiday. Between the singing, the lights, and the smells, I have a whole new appreciation for Hannukah as a national celebration, and not as a Hallmark holiday that is attempting to compete with other holidays of the season.

Look out for pictures.

Chag urim sameach!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Security's Personal Impact

At this juncture I do not want to address the politics that surround the reality that is the security issue. There is enough to be said and written about the politics to fill several blogs for several decades. As has become my approach, I want to relay three stories/thoughts in which I was face to face with Israel's security reality

1)Bags, purses, backpacks, and the like are searched before entering crowded public areas, be they shopping malls, grocery stores, art fairs, or any place that could be considered a potential target. As a male, I often receive extra scrutiny. The most common example, "do you have a weapon?" It does not bother me, and I still feel safe, but it is a regular reminder of the reality in which I am living.

2)The other day I was waiting for a bus, and the police had set up a machsom (checkpoint) close to the bus top. They were stopping vehicles at "random" to check identification and run the license plates. As I watched, I recalled the similar checkpoints that were erected following the sniper shootings of October 2002 in the Washington, D.C. metro area. What continues to fascinate me is the fact that Israel society accepts some of these disruptions while American society will not tolerate them on a number of grounds.

3)Another suspicious package was found on the street outside Pardes. As per the usual protocol, the street was blocked from pedestrians and vehicles while the bomb squad was called. Although the package turned out to be nothing more than a backpack that was accidentally abandoned, there was a palpable anxiety among those assembled. Watching from the windows of Pardes, I had a good view of the unfolding situation. Because of the reality, every one of these suspicious packages must be treated with the utmost seriousness. Once the all clear was given, the cars immediately began honking, not even giving the bomb disposal team time enough to collect its gear. Israelis will tolerate these slowdowns as long as there is a potential threat, but once the threat is neutralized, they return to their impatience.

Shavua tov.

Hebrew phrase of the day: Gever, yesh l'cha neshek? "Sir, do you have a weapon?"

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Rain Rain Go Away?

I have made reference in a number of previous posts to the rain that is supposed to be falling in Israel at this time of the year. The rain has not yet fallen, and the drought has not seen any improvement. Yesterday, the Chief Rabbinate of Israel declared a day of fasting and prayer in hopes that it will open the heavens.

It is difficult for me to stress how badly Israel needs this water. Recently I read two expert evaluations of the ongoing drought. One of them suggested that the extreme heat experienced this summer would have resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths if the technologies for desalinating and moving water around the country did not exist. The second prediction posits that without a normal amount of rain this winter, there is a good possibility that Israel will have to take up a program of water rations next summer.

As for the title of this post, I cant' help but laugh when I see the Facebook and gChat status messages of people who are residing in the United States. On an average rainy day it's not uncommon to read a complaint or two about the rain, and perhaps even one that says "rain rain, go away." Water is critical here, which is generally not something that is experienced in the United States.

What can we do in Israel to help?
Shorter showers, turning off water while brushing teeth, doing only full loads of laundry, turning off the water while scrubbing dishes, and more...

For those of you in the States or in other places where rain is abundant, the next time you're complaining about rain, just remember there are people not so far away who would rejoice in the streets when the rain falls.

Shabbat shalom.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Contrasts


Here in Jerusalem, the average rain can be upwards of 500 mm. In the Arava, a portion of the Negev, less than 30 mm of rain fall on average. What grows with 30 mm of rain, not much. As you can see above, plant life is fairly limited.

Jerusalem, which is relatively well supplied with rain during an average rainy season, does not have the ability, for a variety of reasons to grow large quantities of vegetables. However, the area with 30 mm of rain is responsible for 55-60% of all of the vegetables grown in Israel. This is made possible by the technological advances including hot houses and drip irrigation. The Jordanians have begun to copy the Israeli model, as greenhouses are springing up on the eastern side of the border as well.

After spending three days in the desert, I can't tell you how appreciative I am to have access to potable water. In the States, water flows pretty freely, and without a second thought. That's not the case here, whether in the desert or in Jerusalem. Quite a contrast.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Laws as Suggestions?

Thus far in Israel, I have come to realize that the laws, whether de facto or de jure, are merely suggestions. Or perhaps de jure laws become suggestions and de facto laws are those that survive. Regardless of which you prefer, let me just highlight, again, two incidents.

1) This is sort of a general observation. Traffic laws are certainly suggestions. Why stay in your lane when you can use that of the driver next to you? Double yellows, feel free to cross those. Pedestrians, hit as many as you can! There might actually be extra points for just grazing a pedestrian, causing the pedestrian's hear to skip a beat, or ten. Sidewalks are clearly for parking. However, when you park on the sidewalk, the peds have to walk in the street, it must be a conspiracy. Instead of the middle finger which is common in the United States, the gestures are usually some sort of arm waving motion, complete with contorted faces. All of the above are quite humorous to witness, not nearly as much to experience. Crossing the street makes crossing the Red Sea look like a cinch.

2) Placards, why bother? The other day I was on the bus and I noticed a placard that was facing outside of the bus. In other words, it was intended for those boarding the bus. What did the sign say? That it is forbidden to enter the bus using the rear doors, and that you should not use those doors to board with baby carriages or shopping carts (bubbe baskets). We reach the next stop, and three women immediately attempt to lift their German engineered baby carriages onto the bus using the rear doors. I couldn't help but laugh.

Friday, October 15, 2010

This and That

Two incidents that struck me as humorous in the last week.

1) I was on the the bus heading downtown, when a man boarded the bus and down behind me. He was engaged in a loud conversation on his cellphone. During the somewhat animated discussion, a cell phone rings. He says goodbye to the first person and pulls a second phone out of his shirt pocket, and begins an equally loud conversation with the second caller. Since I was on the bus at rush hour, traffic was moving especially slowly. Eventually, the driver begins yelling at the man to get off the phone because the entire bus has no interest in his business. Undaunted, the loud talker continued. The driver continued to make remarks, to the effect of, "How important does he think he is that he need to be on the phone for a half hour?!" Other passengers also became restless. The woman sitting next to me also tells him that the whole bus doesnt want to hear his conversation. The response: nobody wants to hear you either. I did all I could to hold in laughter, while being somewhat excited that I understood their conversation.

2) I left the Pardes building for lunch on Wednesday. While walking down the street toward the mall, a security employee told me to stop walking. Since he had a gun, I listened. Turns out, there was a suspicious package at the bus stop between Pardes and the grocery store a half block down the street. Because of the reality of life, any unidentified packages are considered suspicious. Security employees from the mall began moving people away from the area. However, one such employee, who was unarmed (not that it would have made a difference), walks up to the shopping bag and turns it upside down. Out falls some sweaters and a couple blankets. So here I am, being told not to get any closer, lest there is something sinister about this bag, and then a man, dressed more or less as I was, walks up and "defuses" the situation. Funny, no?

Shabbat shalom.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sukkot Update

As we are now in the middle of the festive Sukkot holiday, I thought it would be appropriate to share a couple of experiences of the last few days. Sukkot are everywhere, on balconies, in front of restaurants, at the kotel, backyards, front yards, side yards. You name the place and there is a sukkah or two to be found there. As I hope to demonstrate to you this week with pictures, some sukkot are quite elaborate, covered in decorations, people even bring fans inside to stay cool. Other sukkot are what we might call "the halakhic minimum," satisfying the requirements, but nothing beyond.

The other night I was walking home from the sukkah of a friend, and I could hear singing. The more I walked the louder the singing became. Then, a new set of voices reached my ears, and then still another. For a second I couldn't figure out why people were being so loud, as it's not unusual to hear voices from apartments whose windows are above the street. Then I realized, a lot of people are sitting outside, and that's why they're so audible. Just a wonderful moment of rejoicing in the happiness of this holiday.

Finally, this morning, as you can see above, I was at the Kotel for birkat kohanim (the priestly blessing). The blessing is recited daily in Jerusalem, weekly in Israel, and on the holidays outside of Israel. However, on this day, hundreds of kohanim gathered to deliver the bracha en masse. As you can see from the picture, quite a crowd builds. What you can't see is that every place where there is a view of the kotel people are packed tightly, hoping to hear the blessing. I could not take a photo during the actual blessing, but you'll have to take my word when I tell you the plaza was a mass of humanity. A chazzan called to the kohanim at the appropriate time in the davening, all of the movement on the plaza ceased as those in attendance paused to receive the priestly blessing.

Moadim L'simcha!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Emotional Transformation

In the days leading up to Yom Kippur, there was to me a palpable sense of the gravity of the Aseret Y'mei Tshuva (Ten Days of Repentance) that fall between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Immediately after Yom Kippur, sukkot began springing up on balconies, in back yards, and in front of restaurants. The mood around town was transformed from that of awe and solemnity with an eye toward the approaching Yom Kippur. Now, there is an equally palpable sense of joy and anticipation of the holiday that is called in the liturgy zman simchateinu (time of our happiness, more about that on the T'fillah blog). Until this week, I have appreciated the transformation, but I have never been able to see it occur.

I had the pleasure earlier this week of going to the arba minim shuk (four species market) to purchase my lulav and etrog. Usually I order from a local synagogue and pick up the assembled materials before Sukkot begins. However, this time I got to select which I wanted. I must have looked at over 100 lulavim (palms), hadasim (myrtles), and etrogim (citron), before I found the ones that I thought were the most beautiful and permissible by halacha (Jewish Law). I certainly did not want to purchase any pasul (disqualified) items. Here is a link to my Facebook album where you can see some of the selection process, the photos above and below will give you a good idea.

This morning, I awoke to a sort of pit-pattering sound. It was rain! A very light and very short rain shower passed over Jerusalem. This was the first time I have seen or felt water falling from the sky since early July, when I was still in the United States. Next week we will say the prayer for rain, which I will address more thoroughly as we get closer.

So here's to a week of meals in the sukkah, happiness, and rejoicing before God!
Chag sameach!


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Yom Kippur Wrap: Observations

Disclaimer: There is no way that my words will accurately encompass, describe, or depict my Yom Kippur t'fillah experience, but I will try nonetheless.

Three Yom Kippur observations that I want to share with you.

1) In Israel, daylight savings time ends the week before Yom Kippur. This is done so that the fast begins and hour earlier and consequently ends an hour earlier. Having only done it once in my life so far, I feel like this is the preferred method. Essentially your waking hours during the fast are cut down, which I think results in a fast that is less difficult, but still meaningful. Furthermore, it leaves you with more energy, although less napping time (I would argue this is a positive outcome of the time change), with which to approach the unique Neilah (closing) service of Yom Kippur. Neilah, when we make our final petitions for God's mercy via the Thirteen Attributes, is the culmination of weeks of tshuva and a marathon day. I have never felt adrenaline flowing during Neilah like I did this year. I almost found myself wishing for one more piyut (liturgical poem), begging the sun to remain in the sky, giving me one more chance to petition God.

2)Yom Kippur is universal. I cannot speak to the practices of any individual person or a group of people. However, as I was told ahead of time, there are no cars on the road, and the traffic lights flash yellow for the duration of the holiday. Thus, there is universality of Yom Kippur, even if individual practices vary. Walking in the middle of what would be five lanes of traffic is the rule not the exception. The entire country stops to mark the Day of Atonement, it's both bizzare, unbelievable, and very cool (for lack of a better word).

3) White. Most people are wearing white. People did not arrive at synagogue dressed to show off their newest and most beautiful outfits. As I wrote last week, white is a sign of purity. Following the blasts of the shofar that mark the conclusion of Yom Kippur, we began dancing. A euphoric rejoicing in the work we had just accomplished to achieve atonement, still clad in white, even the dancing was pure.

Look out tomorrow for some more observations and thoughts as we head into the Festival of Sukkot.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Yom Kippur Thoughts

Three thoughts on Yom Kippur. I hope they prove meaningful for you.

1) During the lengthy repetition of the Yom Kippur musaf service, there is a section devoted entirely to the Temple rites of the day. In fact, we are acting out the activities in the Temple as best we can. On Shabbat and other holidays, the section from the Torah dealing with that day's sacrifices is included in the repetition, and Yom Kippur is no different in that way. However, on no other day do we act as if we are the High Priest. We dress in white (as you'll see below) and proceed to fall on our faces before God, the ultimate sign of submission and supplication. I urge you not to allow your focus to wane during these holy hours, but rather to try and experience the Temple service with all its details.

2) It is customary on Yom Kippur to wear white. Yom Kippur is NOT the day to wear your best clothing, where you show off all of your material possessions. In fact, its the opposite. During his service in the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur, the High Priest would wear white. White is a symbol of purity and humility, even the people of Ninveh in the Book of Jonah used simple garments to effect their t'shuva. Married men commonly wear a kittel (white robe), and others should try to wear white in a demonstration of their humility and purity. There are plenty of days on which to display your possessions, I do not believe that Yom Kippur is one such day. We are forbidden from bathing and anointing our bodies with oils and perfumes. It is almost as if to say "God, this is me. Simple, humble, no adornments, and I am coming before You for atonement."

3)During the Pardes retreat, one student shared a story of his experience in the Israeli Defense Force where he felt a great deal of longing for God. He went on to explain that as downright frightening Yom Kippur can be, and sometimes even unpleasant, the closeness to God is unique. Rabbinic texts suggest that from the beginning of Rosh Chodesh Elul through Yom Kippur, God is in the fields, at God's maximum accessibility. However, when the gates close at the end of Yom Kippur, that closeness is no longer the same and the longing for God returns. I hope that we can experience both the awesome power of Yom Kippur as well as the unique closeness to God that it provides. Through our t'shuva and t'fillot we can bring ourselves closer to God throughout the year.

Shana tova u'ktiva v'chatima tova l'kol beit Yisrael!
May all Israel be inscribed and sealed for a good year!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Three Day Yom Tov

Sometimes the Jewish calendar falls in such a way that there are two days of holiday immediately followed by Shabbat, or the opposite in the case of Passover. "Holiday" refers to the first day (or two days outside Israel) of any of the festivals (Passover, Sukkot, Shavuot) and Rosh Hashana. Inside Israel, the only time where it can occur is with Rosh Hashana that leads into Shabbat. Confused yet?

As you might have guessed, this was one such year in Israel, creating three days where work is forbidden along with certain other activities. For the purposes of this blog, I do not want to get into the halachic(Jewish Law)implications, but rather to simply set out the fact that as a result of the way Rosh Hashana fell, Jerusalem was essentially closed for three days. Last winter, cities on the East Coast of the United States were socked in by copious amounts of snow, causing municipalities to closed their doors. However, the weather in Jerusalem was sunny, beautiful, and perhaps even a bit too hot for some people. Nonetheless, the fact is that the roads were passable, traffic lights were working, but there were hardly any cars. Israel, known for its dangerous pedestrian crossings, was transformed into a place where main roads could be traversed with little fear.

In our apartment we hosted meals of 10, 9, and 8 people. If I do say so myself, we shared great food, some of which I cooked, wine, songs, laughter, and lots of blessings. I could not have asked for a better way to celebrate the beginning of Rosh Hashana, continue in my personal process of t'shuva, and appreciate Israel as the homeland of the Jewish People.

Friday, September 3, 2010

That Delicious Smell

Earlier posts have already established the fact that the cycle of the week in Israel, or at least in parts of Israel, is focused on Shabbat. Well documented are the crowded supermarkets, open-air markets, pop-up flower stands, laundry blows in the wind after being set out to dry, and the disappearance of Egged buses thirty minutes before Shabbat. All of these can be easily observed.

What cannot be seen are the smells of Shabbat. The clattering dishes in apartments next door signal the fact that cooking has begun. But its only a couple of hours later until the smells of delicious food begin wafting from neighboring apartments. I like to try and guess what people are having for Shabbat dinner, how many guests, or how they make their chollent. Sauteed onions are one of the first smells that can be detected, followed, by garlic, roasting potatoes, and fresh spices. The last, and perhaps most flavor laden smell, is that of meat cooking. Whether its brisket, chicken soup, or kishke, wonderful smells fill the apartment. Sorry vegetarians, tofu just doesn't smell as yummy.

You can see above how close the apartments are to each other in the Old City of Jerusalem. It's not hard to imagine the ease by which one can smell thy neighbor's Shabbat meals. Although I do not live in a neighborhood as densely populated or homogeneous as the Old City, Shabbat continues to be an experience that appeases all the senses, well before it even begins.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Eifo hatachanat autobus?
Where is the bus stop?

Shabbat shalom.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Monumental Days

No, not the upcoming holidays.

It's hard for me to believe that I've been in Israel for nearly five weeks, well more than the sum of the days of previous trips combined. Having lived in the German Colony and now in Katamon, I encounter Americans on a fairly regular basis. We trade the usual pleasantries, and try to figure out who might be mutual acquaintences, a game commonly referred to as "Jewish Geography." Up until now, the are usually in the country for just a couple of weeks. Knowing that I'm here for much longer still hasn't hit me entirely. It's a wonderful feeling to know that I get to experience Israel at its fullest, and I don't have encounter the sadness of leaving Israel anytime soon.

Today was our second day of classes at Pardes, looking forward to sharing more about those experiences with you.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Hamazgan lo oved. The air-conditioning is not working.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

West and South

Looking west toward the Old City walls in the early morning haze. The Tower of David is seen on the far left.
Looking down the path toward the Jaffa Gate, the Old City walls are reflecting the light from the rising sun. the Tower of David is visible.

Looking South, on a clear day you can see the security barrier.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Juxtaposition

I've spent some time at the Kotel over the past few days. Check out Tussling with T'fillah for more about my my experience. Here's a juxtaposition that everybody notices when they come to Israel, specifically the Kotel: these guys (dressed beautifully in green)
davening next to those guys (below, dressed fashionably in black). While I was dancing at the Kotel the other night, I was whacked continually by the butt of an M-16 or two, not unlike the one seen here.
So there we are amid beautiful songs, Pslams, and harmonious voices and I am coming into contact with objects of war.
Strangely, it gives hope for a peaceful time when those weapons will no longer be necessary. But it also frightens one into realizing that sometimes those weapons are necessary. Obviously I prefer the former, and dancing with soldiers younger than I gave me a great appreciation for the often difficult tasks that their country asks them to carry out. They're still able to sing Psalms of praise and peace, that's a juxtaposition.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Shavarti et shtei haraglayim, v'hem koavim.
I broke both (of my) legs, and they hurt.

Friday, August 20, 2010

From Kotel to Ladder

Yesterday morning I made my first trip to the Old City of Jerusalem, including a brief visit to the Kotel. Because the weather has again become unseasonably warm, I was determined to return to my apartment before the sun was too high in the sky. However, the big news of the day was working WITH the landlord on apartment repairs.

The landlord, an elderly French immigrant, now Israeli, showed up at about 10:30 to do repairs on the shades in one of the bedrooms as well as on the balcony. He corrected my still-poor Hebrew grammar whenever possible, for which I was grateful. At some point, he asked me for a bit of help, I was more than happy to oblige. Four hours and many trips up and down the ladder later, all the repairs were concluded. Between my Hebrew/English and his Hebrew/English/French we were able to communicate and work together fairly well. I'll spare you the intimate and intricate details, but what was the most notable to me was that when something was difficult, he would call out to God. For example, a screw was stuck and his response "Nu, Elohim?!" (So, God?!). What a place, huh?

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Ata tzarich likro gam et ha'otiyot ha'ktanot.
Literally: You need to read the small letters too.
Practically: You should also read the fine print.

Shabbat shalom.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Photos As Promised

Two-button flusher, meet blogosphere.


Last week's flying piano. Please note the dumpsters behind, which is where the famous sod incident of 5770 occurred.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Conversions

I am not going to touch the rancor that exists surrounding the conversion issue. Instead, I have a list of items that should be converted between the two countries.

From Israel to the US
1) Solar energy. Need AC? Use the sun to power the AC.
2) Hot water heaters, see above for the energy source.
3) Two button toilet flushers. One for, number one, and two for...you get the idea.
4) Be casual. Everybody likes to dress up, but casual is just fine!

From the US to Israel
1) Mail. In the US you know when the post office will be open.
2) Bank hours, they should be regular.
3) Customer service. Lacking in Israel, see numbers one and two.
4) Street numbers. 19, 34, 22 consecutively doesn't make sense.

Bonus, both countries should get rid of:
1) Pennies and ten agurot coins. For those who don't know, Kramer (from Seinfeld, not my cat with the same name) reverses the peephole of his apartment to prevent an ambush from somebody wielding a sock of pennies. They're unncessary.

I know this is a longer post than usual, but surely you will laugh at my expense. I was paying for my groceries at the market when the bagger began bagging my groceries. The following ensued:

I said to him: Ani lo tzarich sachkaneet, yesh li tarmil gav.
I was trying to say: I don't need a bag(sakeet), I have a backpack.
What I actually said: I don't need an actress, I have a backpack.

Pictures coming soon of the flying piano and two button flusher, once the internet woes are resolved.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Slicha, ata yachol l'haziz et ha rov'eh shelcha, b'vakasha?
Excuse me, can you move your gun, please?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Shabbat in Review

Sometimes it's really wonderful to be doing something unique in the midst of a larger crowd. Other times, it's just as wonderful to do the same unique activity in the context of others who are doing the same.

Obviously in this case I'm talking about Shabbat observance. Yesterday, while I prepared to head off to my lunch, and reunite with my Hadar chevruta, I could hear the residents of the apartment above singing the words of v'shamru, the opening of the Kiddush for the Sabbath day. As I left the apartment moments later and headed up the street, I passed other windows and balconies and heard the same words. Some were quite beautiful, others horribly out of tune.

There's sort of a knowing look that you give to people as you pass them in the street, a nod, a slight smile, sometimes even a verbal greeting. All of which convey a sense of delight and relaxation even in the scorching afternoon heat. The quieter streets, the long leisurely meals, and (sometimes) melodious singing combine to make the elbowing and edginess of the Friday grocery trips bearable.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Kof ro'eh, kof o'seh. "Monkey see, monkey do"

Friday, August 13, 2010

Wrapping the Week

A piano flew off the balcony below me earlier this week. Okay, it didn't actually fly, it was assisted by a large hydraulically powered crane. Quite an operation to behold.

I know I touched on this last week but grocery stores are insane on Thursday afternoons and Friday mornings. This should not be surprising given the fact that Shabbat is approaching and the stores are closed on Shabbat. It does, however, provide an excellent venue to interact with the residents of the city. Or if you prefer, it's an opportunity to be elbowed out of the way while thumping honey dews and watermelons.

I noticed today the sign for the shelter in the basement of my building. "miklat" with an arrow pointing downward. Interestingly enough, this is the same word that appears in the Bible when discussing the cities of refuge. Parashat Shoftim, which will be read tomorrow contains one of the commandments to create the cities of refuge.

Interesting, no?

Hebrew phrase of the day:
Savta sheli noheget yoter tov mimeich! "My grandmother drives better than you!"

Shabbat shalom.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dumpster Diving and Driving

I am familiar with the concept and practice of dumpster diving. Granted, I'm not personally familiar with it, but I'm aware of its existence as a method of reducing waste, salvaging usable items, etc...

However, I did not think that dumpster diving applied to yard waste. Yes, people save their fallen leaves and use it as mulch for the following spring, but what I witnessed this morning was a bit surprising, although certainly not unreasonable.

For context, my current apartment faces the Shalom Hartman Institute and today they were doing some landscaping. I overheard two men having somewhat of a charged exchange about the sod that the Hartman landscapers were discarding in the dumpsters. A fellow in a white car had pulled up and was fishing the scraps of sod out of the dumpster and putting them on the trunk, roof, and hood of his car. From what I could overhear, he is preparing to have a garden this fall, and wants the grass to keep the rains from washing the loose soil away. So, after agreeing that it was okay to take the leftover sod, the man drove away very slowly, trying not to accelerate too quickly, lest his new treasure slide off into the street.

I can only imagine how his speed was probably met with lackluster enthusiasm by the impatient Israeli drivers awaiting him on the main roads.

Bonus Hebrew phrase of the day:
Lama atah m'naseh la'asot pozot? Why are you trying to show off?

A Break in the Weather

After many days of scorching heat, the past couple days have been very pleasant. It has become much easier to sleep at night when the temperature is in the 60s vs high 70s. Sorry fans of Celsius, but this is a Fahrenheit zone.

Even Israelis were remarking that it was especially hot. The best part about the change in weather during the day is that I now have the ability to go outside, sit in the park, do errands, or just enjoy Jerusalem between the hours of 10 and 6.

Humorous observation: motor bike drivers have a death wish. I don't understand why somebody would drive so recklessly on a contraption that offers so little protection in a country where traffic accidents are so prevalent.

Hebrew phrase of the day: Zeh mamash lo inyanecha. That's really none of your business.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Those Little Things

As I prepare for my first Shabbat in Jerusalem on this voyage, I want to recap a few things that I encountered in the last few days.

1) A woman asked me(in Hebrew) on the street the other night where Cafe Hillel is. Because there are a couple of them, and because we were facing in opposite directions, I (also in Hebrew) gave her completely the opposite directions. However, I didn't realize it until a few minutes had passed. Oh well, I figure she was in the Army anyway and could use to refresh her compass skills.

2) On my apartment building there are a few guys doing some pretty serious work putting in an elevator. Some of the laborers are Israeli and some are Arab. When I said good night to them last night, I instinctively said Shabbat shalom, see you on Sunday. The Israelis both of whom are probably secular barely responded. The Arabs looked up and said Shabbat shalom. Interesting, no? What's even more interesting, it happened last week in Haifa as well.

3) Friday morning shopping is quite an undertaking. It seems that everybody is in the super at the same time, regardless of which one you patronize. I know that stores close early on Friday because of Shabbat, and I'm certainly glad that my shopping is just about done, and that I won't have to face the throngs in the middle of the afternoon.

Hebrew phrase of the day:
K'visa achat v'hem mitkavtzim. One load of laundry and they shrink.

That does it for me. Shabbat shalom.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Week One Summary

Let me just start by saying, this blog will be more humorous and less serious than my other which you can check out here. I thought I would do what every good American does, start a blog that nobody reads, just to get my thoughts and observations out there about what's happening in my new Jerusalem life.

In one week I have come to the perhaps premature conclusion that Israel is in fact a third world country, not in a disparaging way, just a fact.

Mail doesn't arrive, internet doesnt work, hot water sometimes is on the fritz, no building projects are seemingly ever completed, traffic patterns don't make sense, adorable cats roam the streets, and more.

Please don't get me wrong, I love Israel. And I'm not even saying that these are bad things, or that they're only seemingly "bad" because of what Americans are accustomed to having in their lives. Just an observation.

So this will be a place for humorous musings, observations, stories, and more regular updates. As I said above, the more serious stuff can be found over at Tussling with Tfillah.

L'hit.