Sunday, October 31, 2010

Laws as Suggestions?

Thus far in Israel, I have come to realize that the laws, whether de facto or de jure, are merely suggestions. Or perhaps de jure laws become suggestions and de facto laws are those that survive. Regardless of which you prefer, let me just highlight, again, two incidents.

1) This is sort of a general observation. Traffic laws are certainly suggestions. Why stay in your lane when you can use that of the driver next to you? Double yellows, feel free to cross those. Pedestrians, hit as many as you can! There might actually be extra points for just grazing a pedestrian, causing the pedestrian's hear to skip a beat, or ten. Sidewalks are clearly for parking. However, when you park on the sidewalk, the peds have to walk in the street, it must be a conspiracy. Instead of the middle finger which is common in the United States, the gestures are usually some sort of arm waving motion, complete with contorted faces. All of the above are quite humorous to witness, not nearly as much to experience. Crossing the street makes crossing the Red Sea look like a cinch.

2) Placards, why bother? The other day I was on the bus and I noticed a placard that was facing outside of the bus. In other words, it was intended for those boarding the bus. What did the sign say? That it is forbidden to enter the bus using the rear doors, and that you should not use those doors to board with baby carriages or shopping carts (bubbe baskets). We reach the next stop, and three women immediately attempt to lift their German engineered baby carriages onto the bus using the rear doors. I couldn't help but laugh.

Friday, October 15, 2010

This and That

Two incidents that struck me as humorous in the last week.

1) I was on the the bus heading downtown, when a man boarded the bus and down behind me. He was engaged in a loud conversation on his cellphone. During the somewhat animated discussion, a cell phone rings. He says goodbye to the first person and pulls a second phone out of his shirt pocket, and begins an equally loud conversation with the second caller. Since I was on the bus at rush hour, traffic was moving especially slowly. Eventually, the driver begins yelling at the man to get off the phone because the entire bus has no interest in his business. Undaunted, the loud talker continued. The driver continued to make remarks, to the effect of, "How important does he think he is that he need to be on the phone for a half hour?!" Other passengers also became restless. The woman sitting next to me also tells him that the whole bus doesnt want to hear his conversation. The response: nobody wants to hear you either. I did all I could to hold in laughter, while being somewhat excited that I understood their conversation.

2) I left the Pardes building for lunch on Wednesday. While walking down the street toward the mall, a security employee told me to stop walking. Since he had a gun, I listened. Turns out, there was a suspicious package at the bus stop between Pardes and the grocery store a half block down the street. Because of the reality of life, any unidentified packages are considered suspicious. Security employees from the mall began moving people away from the area. However, one such employee, who was unarmed (not that it would have made a difference), walks up to the shopping bag and turns it upside down. Out falls some sweaters and a couple blankets. So here I am, being told not to get any closer, lest there is something sinister about this bag, and then a man, dressed more or less as I was, walks up and "defuses" the situation. Funny, no?

Shabbat shalom.